Brief Character Bios

Ernesto Carlson: The Foreigner
Age: Mid 50s
Role: Lane/Merriman
Problem: Can hardly speak English…or so we think
Form of Sabotage: Tries to confuse and upset others by not understanding

Kimberly Harding: The Diva
Age: Mid 20s
Role: Gwendolyn Fairfax
Problem: Cannot keep lines memorized
Form of Sabotage: Is oblivious to the other actors’ trying to get rid of directors. She’s the one who actually says "What does a director do, anyway?"

Chloe Briggs: The Ingenue
Age: Late teens to early 20s
Role: Cecily Cardew
Problem: Lack of self-confidence
Form of Sabotage: Throws tantrums when the director/diva corrects her

Pam Ailes: The Under-miner
Age: Mid 60s
Role: Lady Bracknell
Problem: Huge ego
Form of Sabotage: Tries to make the director/other actors feel like they don’t know what they’re doing

Jake Welenc: The Goof-off
Age: Early 20s
Role: Jack Worthing
Problem: ADHD
Form of Sabotage: Talking during rehearsals; moving about and not listening to director

Michael Chase: Mr. Sticky Fingers
Age: Early 30s
Role: Algernon Moncrieff
Problem: Kleptomania
Form ofSabotage: Stealing props (perhaps not always so subtly to the camera)

Jim "Slim" Meyers
Age: Early 40s
Weight/height: Tall and gangly
Position: President of We Shadows Players Inc.
Problem: While he congratulates himself on his "steel nerves", they are about driven to dust when one director after another quits for different reasons

Robert "Bob Hitler" Heiter: The Tyrant
Position: Director #:2
Reasons for quitting: Has a heart attack while yelling at actors

Terrie Trace: The Superstitious One
Position: Director #1
Reasons for quitting: Believes the theatre is extremely haunted (things keep mysteriously disappearing...Little does she know that Michael's been lifting them)

Cordell Schidler: The Method Director
Position: Director #3
Reasons for quitting: Has a nervous breakdown and must be hospitalized

In-betweens: Many odd excuses

Dan Bevins: The Perfect Director
Position: Director #7
Reason for quitting: Dies

Danielle Higgns: The gossiping stage manager
Reason for quitting: Mysteriously disappears